CRESPOGRAM REPORT
JULY 28, 2014
BARRED FROM NUMEROUS GOVERNMENTAL COMPUTER NETWORKS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH
ARCHIVES2014_ARCHIVES.html

CONTACTCONTACT.html

RETURNSPLASH_XXX.html

SERIESSERIES.html

VIDEOSVIDEOS.html

TWITTERhttps://twitter.com/crespogram

So there I was at City Hall on Thursday afternoon, and there was Alyce Robertson, the Executive Director of the DDA waiting to make an appearance before the City Commission when the DDA’s millage rate for the year came up for a vote.


Since I didn’t have any photos of Robertson to accompany my past and future stories about her and the DDA,I figured this was an opportunity to get at least one decent photo for future use.


I quietly stood at the back of the chamber with my camera and managed to get one acceptable photo, and then continued to wait as she chatted with Lucia Dougherty after the Commission approved the DDA’s millage in the hopes of getting a better one.


She finally finished her conversation and spotting me waiting to take her
photo she did her best to evade my photographing her while in the process sliding up next to me and calling me an “asshole” as she turned and walked out of the chambers.


I’d heard that Robertson has a mouth like a ill-tempered sailor - which is okay with me, since I too have been known to engage in profanity now and then - but I was disappointed at her lack of creativity.  I mean, asshole? That’s the best she could do?


If you’re going to use profanity with me you got to be more creative than just calling me an asshole, because being an asshole is actually a required part of the job description when it comes to writing about public corruption in the City of Miami.


Therefore, I would never call you an asshole Alyce, because that’s so pedestrian and uncreative, and it wouldn’t do you justice. Instead I would call you a Truculent Little Warthog. See, that’s far more colorful, descriptive and captures your essence, don’t you agree? And best of all, even though at your board meetings folks will express their dismay that I would dare call you any sort of name, behind your back you and I know that a whole lot of folks will probably get a kick out of it because you are not as beloved as you might think. Being a suck-ass to your Chairman, Commissioner - ‘Lying, weasel dick sociopath’ - Sarnoff comes with lasting consequences.


So now that I’ve gotten that issue out of the way, let’s get to this week’s excuse for why I still haven’t gotten the email addresses from either the DDA or the City, and the twists and turns made by Miami City Attorney Victoria Mendez as she continues to demonstrate the pitfalls of ass-kissing your way into a job you’re not tough enough to handle.


THE CITY ATTORNEY’S EXCUSE OF THE WEEK


Last week I wrote a story that detailed how, after several weeks the DDA was refusing to provide me with copies of the email addresses that they use to send out their newsletters and other information to both the residents and business owners in the DDA District.


The basis for my story last week was that the DDA, instead of complying with my request had fobbed it off to the City Attorney’s office, and after hemming and hawing, Victoria Mendez had sent me an email stating that her office was just “coordinating” and that my request would be complied with by week’s end.


That didn’t happen, so I wrote my story, and for good measure went off on a rant about the kinds of public corruption that takes place inside Miami City Hall. 


I didn’t receive a reply to my story on the first four days of this week either, but on Friday I discovered that the City’s Communications Office was now using the same Constant Contact program that the DDA uses to send out all of it’s press releases. 


That prompted me to send an email to Assistant City Attorney George Wysong, Mendez and others in the administration concerning the agreement that I had accepted from him regarding how the City would respond to another request that I had made to the Mayor and to the Communications Department for all of their email addresses.


Wysong’s offer, made when we met at the monthly Ethics Commission meeting at the beginning of July was to send me a copy of an “email blast” from the Mayor and the Communications Department containing the email addresses I requested had not been forthcoming, and the discovery that the City was now using Constant Contact meant that Wysong’s offer was impossible to comply with because of the way that Constant Contact works.


In response to the email I sent to Wysong pointing out this problem, Mendez replied with the following email.  I have included my original email to Wysong as well.

 

OLD SITEORIGINAL_SITE.html
ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER EXCUSE
ANOTHER WEEK HAS PASSED AND WHILE I STILL HAVEN‘T GOTTEN THE EMAIL ADDRESSES FROM THE DDA, ALYCE ROBERTSON DID CALL ME AN ASSHOLE, AND VICTORIA MENDEZ IMPLIED THAT CITY EMPLOYEES WERE TOO STUPID TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE THE CONSTANT CONTACT PROGRAM
PART III

Mendez’s response captures the general level of incompetence that reigns within the administration of Tomas Regalado:

“Now that we figured out everyone has constant contact but no one knows how to use it and never created spread sheets we are dealing with that.”

Imagine, the City of Miami is paying big bucks to license the use of Constant Contact, and the City Attorney claims that “no one knows how to use” the program.


That prompted me to send her an email, that I forwarded to my news media list and others.

Here is the instruction page from Constant Contact on how to download the email contact list.  I ask you, does it seem complicated to you?  Do you think that somewhere inside of the MRC building there are City employees with a 5th grade reading level capable of reading and following these instructions?

And so it goes. I can’t wait to discover what next week’s excuse will be, since it now appears that the morons at the DDA and the City Attorney’s Office have made a simple, straightforward act of downloading email addresses almost as complicated as sending someone to the moon on a rocket ship built using Lego blocks.


It’s Miami, Bitches!