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THE CANDIDCACY OF TERESA “THE BEARD” SARNOFF (*)
IN ORDER TO TRY AND SCARE AWAY ANY REAL COMPETITION, THE WORD ON THE STREET IS THAT THE COMMISSIONER WANTS TO RAISE A QUICK $250,000 FOR WIFEY’S CAMPAIGN.  GUESS WHO’S BEEN TASKED WITH LEADING THE EFFORT
PART II

In the thugocracy that has become Miami, politicians are saying and doing things that only seem normal because the saying and doing is happening against a background of such brazen, sleazy, corrupt behavior that there are no longer normal community standards of ethical behavior that can be used as a measuring stick of just how bad and corrupt things have truly become.


Take for instance Miami City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff’s efforts in orchestrating a campaign to have his wife run for his City Commission seat.


How many times has anyone in the last 7 years seen Teresa Sarnoff anywhere near a public event involving policy issues?  There are photos of her playing the role of the dutiful wife sitting in the audience at City Hall during a half dozen State of the City events, or at the swearing in of various Commissioners, and she shows up at civi events like 4th of July firework displays and for fancy parties and galas, but Teresa Sarnoff has never shown up at Merri Christmas Park, or at Legion Park, or City Hall, or anywhere else in the last 7 plus years to be part of any discussion about the needs or problems of the citizens of District 2.


She’s been as they say, a Show Horse, and not a Work Horse. She’s long on party dresses, and short on public policy knowledge and experience.  Her only claim to fame is that her married name is Sarnoff. If she walked around introducing herself as Teresa Rose Forrestel, no one would know, or care who she was because her obvious lack of credentials to run for anything, including the City’s Chicken Chaser, would become readily evident.


Her running for the Miami City Commission is nothing but an effort by Sarnoff to keep control over the cash cow that District 2 has become, and the best way to give wifey an edge is to try and raise so much money that it will scare off any real competition.


To that end, I’ve been told by political insiders that he’s decided that he needs to raise a quick $250,000, in addition to the $70,000 or so that he’s got in his EOC as a way to discourage potential challengers.


That’s a lot of money, but then again, Sarnoff has done a lot of favors that would qualify for some Quid Pro Quo. High on the list of those who have received numerous Sarnoff favors is Nitin Motwani, the Managing Partner of the Miami WorldCenter, and the word on the street is that he has been unofficially designated/volunteered to be one of the principal glad-handers in the hustle to raise money for wifey’s campaign. 


I have no reason to doubt it, and in fact it makes perfect sense because given the recent approval of the Development Agreement that allows the WorldCenter project to move forward, Motwani is in now in the catbird’s seat to put the arm on a lot of contractors, sub-contractors, vendors, and sundry other folks who will become part of the construction process.  For all of these folks, a $500 or $1000 political contribution to Teresa Sarnoff’s campaign will just be seen as little more than a cheap, yet good business decision. 


In the construction business you’ll never know when you might need a friendly word put in with the City’s Building Department or its inspectors, and as I’ve documented this year, you can operate a long time in the City of Miami without permits, BTR’s or even after receiving Code Enforcement Violations.


My sources also tell me that Motwani has already started approaching people for money, and that the goal is to raise as much of that money before the end of the year as possible, including possibly holding a couple fund raisers.  Jorge Perez is being mentioned as a likely host for one of those events.


AN UPDATE ON THE END HOMELESSNESS NOW FOUNDATION


In my first story about how a foundation created by Teresa Sarnoff, Jay Solowsky and Mason Portnoy - Solowsky and Portnoy are partners in Solowsky & Allen, the law firm where Sarnoff hangs his legal shingle - to raise money for the Camillius House, I included a portion of the July 24, 2014, minutes of the Miami City Commission where Sarnoff went out of his way to identify by name a half dozen developers who he thanked for their support.

All of the men who Sarnoff thanked - except lobbyist Steve Marin - are developers who already have, or will be coming before the Miami City Commission and/or the OMNI CRA looking for a favor or two, or three.


Because no one has been forthcoming in providing information on how much money these good folks contributed to this supposedly public spirited “foundation,” I figured that this was information that should be available to the public, and so I wrote to Jay Solowsky and asked him to provide me with a list of all the donors to the foundation, and how much money each of these individuals gave.


Solowsky, who in many ways acts like the Sarnoff’s consigliere, was not very forthcoming to my first request, so I wrote him a second letter.

I know you will be shocked to learn that Solowsky basically told me to go screw, because he did not respond.  After not hearing from him for a few days I sent him another  email.

Alas, Solowsky did not respond to this email either. But then again, maybe Teresa, like a 21st century version of Mother Teresa, has been busy over at Camillius House helping the poor unfortunates and doesn’t want to be distracted by having to answer any questions from someone who calls her husband a pansy ass.


In any event, it’s dawned on me that The Mango Strut Parade is coming up in a couple months and this might be the year to bring the Strut back to its roots by actually doing what it was intended to do: Remind people of just how sleazy and corrupt local politicians can be.


So here’s an idea. Anybody want to be Mother Teresa Sarnoff caring for the homeless of Miami, while Marc Sarnoff and Nitin Motwani work the crowd for change? We can dress Teresa up in a Nun’s habit with a big Hallo, and I’m sure we can find a couple tin cups for the Sarnoff and Motwani characters to wave around, and I definitely know I can find a nice Red Bow for Sarnoff’s hair to give him that pansy ass look.


What about it?  It’s his last year as a City Commissioner.  Don’t you think the time has come to send him and her off in the manner they deserve.


It’s Miami, Bitches!


(*) My use of the term “The Beard” is not in any way intended to imply that the Commissioner is gay, which is not the case at all. I do not know whether the Commissioner is gay or not, and the various rumors that circulate about him are irrelevant to the political issues of his wife being put forward to run for his seat.


I chose to use the term “The Beard” as way to describe how Teresa Sarnoff, if elected, will provide the public face of the City of Miami Commissioner for District 2, while it will be her husband who will actually make all of the decisions and deals, just as he currently does now as the Commissioner.  I just figured that “The Beard” was less indelicate then calling her the “Sock Puppet” and invoking the image of the Commissioner sticking his hand up her ass.