CRESPOGRAM REPORT
POLICE CHIEF “PUMPKINHEAD”
PLACIDO “PUMPKIN HEAD” DIAZ IS RUMORED  TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST TO BECOME THE NEXT POLICE CHIEF OF SWEETWATER.  JOINING HIM WILL BE FORMER MIAMI ASSISTANT CHIEF RICARDO ROQUE AND MAJOR RAUL HERBELLO, AND NO I COULDN’T HAVE EVER COME UP WITH THIS TRIFECTA HAD I BEEN ON HIGH ON DRUGS FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS
PART I

What can I tell you.  How could I not return - at least for the day - to write about this amazing turn of events in the City of Sweetwater, aka, Florida’s most corrupt city, barring none.


I got the word today from several sources that Placido “Pumpkinhead” Diaz, who I’ve written about on numerous occasions, starting with his adventures as a Slumlord, and then that bizarre episode when he pulled out his service revolver and threatened to blow his brains out at the Los Rancho’s restaurant at Bayside,(HERE and HERE,) to his applying for, and operating a private detective company while working for the City of Miami as the administrator for the Red Light camera program, will become the next Chief of Police in Sweetwater if Douglas Mayorga Orlando Lopez is, as expected, elected Mayor.


I speculated then that he must have photos of one or more of the corrupt members of the Miami City Commission fucking a goat for him to be able to pull off the stunts that he did, but the possibility that this guy, who left the Miami Police Department under a cloud as a Sergeant in 2002, is now on the verge of becoming the Police Chief of a city in Miami-Dade County - especially the most corrupt city in the County - is actually quite an amazing story of shit rising to the top of the bucket.


What really makes this story even more bizarre is that joining Diaz in Sweetwater will be former Miami Assistant Chief of Police Ricardo Roque, who I’ve also had occasion to write about, including his activities after he retired in 2013 , as one of Tomas Regalado’s free-lance “fixers.”


Somehow, even though Roque claimed to have built a million dollar house in Kendall, and retired with a big chunk of money in his DROP, plus a sizable pension based on his Assistant Chief’s salary, he just couldn’t seem to make ends meet, and earlier this year, much to the amusement of many on the force, Roque started showing up to get Off-Duty assignments for $32 an hour.


Here he is in a classic pose that I think points to him going to Sweetwater to become the Chief of the Sweetwater School Guard Patrol.

Also joining Diaz and Roque is none other than Major Raul Herbello, who will forever be remembered as the Miami cop who used to show up at Police Headquarters in the White Bentley owned by one of the owners of Cuban Crafters, and who I managed to capture in the photograph that he claimed made him look like a midget, standing at attention while waiting for Shadow Mayor, Armando “The Whopper” Guterriez, to get out of his SUV.

It’s hard to feel sorry for the people who live in Sweetwater, because so much crazy, sleazy and insane bullshit has happened there over the last few years - and probably long before folks really started paying attention - that you got to figure that the fucking that they’re going to get if they elect the guy as Mayor who supposedly will be responsible for hiring these three bozos to be in charge of their Police Department, that this is probably what they deserve for electing him as Mayor. 


The only thing that might save Sweetwater now is a permanent garrison of FBI agents camped outside of City Hall and the Police Department, because if past performance is a measure of what you can expect from this gang, then Sweetwater’s in for another real Merry-Go-Ride at the hands of these “cops.”


I would give everyone in Sweetwater one word of warning after having dealt with “Pumpkinhead” in the past.  Whenever he gets all pious and sanctimonious, you better watch out, because that’s when he tells his biggest lies.


IN CLOSING


While I had no plans to return, I think you’ll agree that this is just one story that I couldn’t pass up.  Also, I trust that this story lays to rest any and all rumors that I was paid off, or threatened into retiring. 


I suspect that on occasion stories like this will prompt me to weigh in with a quick story, but please don’t think that this signals that I am even considering coming back for anything other than a quickie like this.


I’m actually enjoying retirement.


This time, it’s Sweetwater, Bitches!

BARRED FROM NUMEROUS GOVERNMENTAL COMPUTER NETWORKS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH
MAY 8, 2015

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