CRESPOGRAM REPORT
JULY 29, 2014
BARRED FROM NUMEROUS GOVERNMENTAL COMPUTER NETWORKS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH
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A CRESPOGRAM EXCLUSIVE

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REGALADO TO RESIGN AS MAYOR
TOMAS REGALADO WILL RESIGN AS MAYOR LATER THIS YEAR, AND DAUGHTER RAQUEL WILL RUN FOR MAYOR IN A SPECIAL ELECTION, MOST LIKELY IN THE SPRING

Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado’s health problems - first reported here on  the Crespogram Report on January 6th of this year - seem to have progressed to a point where I have  been able to confirm from multiple sources that he will resign from office within months, and his daughter Raquel, who has long been groomed to follow in his footsteps, will run for Mayor in an effort to carry on the Regalado dynasty.


In January I wrote about Regalado’s prominent hand shakes pointing to the possibility that he was suffering from the onset of Parkinson’s Disease, and while those shakes seem to have been reduced, no doubt as a result of medication, the last six months have seen him often listless, falling asleep at meetings, and generally exhibiting a lack of energy and interest as reported by people who have spent time with him on a regular basis.


While this story will initially be denied by Regalado and those in his camp, I have received this information from multiple sources who I trust implicitly, and there are too many people within the Regalado camp already privy to this information for it to remain a secret much longer, regardless of who might claim today that this story is untrue.


As with all things Regalado however, getting from point A to point B will not be accomplished in a straight line. Before he announces his resignation, Regalado will do everything he can to stack the deck in Raquelita’s favor including playing nice with the employees unions - especially the FOP - which has been the most recalcitrant in their negotiations. Earlier this year the FOP membership voted down a contract offer that most members considered as little more than a slap in the face.


While the new union contracts won’t give the employees everything they want, there will be enough give by the administration to try and neutralize some of that hostility.


As Mayor, Regalado also has some other rabbits he’ll be pulling out of the hat, including the big rollout of the EB-5 Immigrant Investor Program on August 7th, that will be touted as the best thing to happen to Miami since Henry Flagler showed up with his railroad.


All of these political moves are being designed to create as much good will as possible for Raquelita, who will run a campaign portraying herself  as the brave and devoted daughter whose commitment to public service and her father since the death of her mother has prepared her to step forward at this time in order to insure that Daddy’s legacy of good works continues.


To make sure that she puts her best face forward, multiple sources have informed the Crespogram Report that Raquelita recently spent time getting a nose job, new teeth and gum retraction and a new set of tits, as well as perhaps other enhancements intended to make her look like a middle-age beauty queen.


It says a lot about the times we live in that a candidate for Mayor of Miami would decide that her first act as a candidate would be to get a new face and new tits.


The strategy from what I’ve been told is that Regalado will announce his resignation either at the end of this year, or the beginning of next year and then call for a Special Election to elect his replacement.  His resignation  would not take place until after the election so as to be able to use all of the City’s resources and his powers as Mayor to benefit Raquelita.


Special Elections are the next best thing to outright rigging an election, especially in the City of Miami where voter turnout is traditionally low, and where a Special Election could well be determined exclusively by the little old Cuban grandmothers in the nursing homes and assisted living facilities that has always been the core of Regalado’s support.


At this point, the only viable candidate likely to go up against Raquelita is Francis Suarez, who didn’t demonstrate much in the way of political skills during his first run for Mayor, and who would really have to show that he’s willing to fight for the job this time, because Raquelita is her father’s daughter, and she will come into the race believing that she’s entitled to be the next Mayor of Miami, which means that she will bitch slap anyone who gets in her way.


Get your popcorn early folks, because this could be one hell of a fight, and the ramifications of having another Regalado running Miami might actually make some folks sit up and pay attention for a change.


It’s Miami, Bitches!